Not easy being me...

          Happy New Year to all 16 of my followers! And all those really bored Russian people that have started reading my blog lately. No, really! I can see the stats of where in the world my blog has been read and it is fascinating. Remember the kid show "Where in the world is Carmen Santiago?" or whatever it was called? I have my own version..."Where in the world is Carmen Horton being laughed at." Pretty sure it is only because I mention the word "flannel", as in "flannel nightgowns" in one of my posts, and God knows the Russian folks can use good flannel. Once they find my blog, they are unable to tear themselves away from the MANY lovely photos I have posted and are stuck there...well, until they have read 16 pages anyway.
Can you Have too many flannel nightgowns?? NYET!!
          I digress already. Here I am for what has turned into my semi annual blog post. Not sure why I can't just plunk down and type a few words randomly, every few days. I mean, I am busy, that is very true. But ole Ree Drummond, AKA Pioneer Woman blogs several times a week, and she has this gazillion dollar empire she has to manage too. I have a $17.87 empire to manage, and can only seem to blog every six months. I am pretty sure however, I have to manage things that she has pawned off on her hired staff however, freeing up several hours a week to blog from her much newer, can almost do everything itself computer. Let me give you a few examples and you can get a better understanding of why blogging is so tough for CC Horton.
Don't even get me started on my beauty routine..
         Example number one! Someone has to cook and clean. Ree does lots of cooking, but I am willing to bet most of it is done on her Food Network show. The rest of the time, I bet she has help or just eats all the stuff the rest of the week that she cooked on her show. I have to go to the store on almost a daily basis because I never have the ingredients for ANYTHING I try to make. I could try and make a bowl of crackers and milk for lunch and be out of crackers. Or milk. Or both. Off to the store I go. Time consuming. I always seem to end up at FOOD CITY (Where America shops!), and even though I employ their one and only auto buggy, it takes awhile to get stuff done. Firstly, I have to recover from plunking my butt down on said go buggy, as I call it, because they park it just inside the doors where the carts are. It has been two weeks of record setting cold here in Maine, and while it may not be -25 degrees just inside those sliding doors, it ain't much warmer. My butt goes instantly numb the moment it hits that cold plastic seat, and I have to wait until I can feel my cheeks again before I can safely operate it, or I might slide off, having lost my "gripping " power, due to numbness.
         Once I manage to get inside, I try and get what I need quickly and get out. This in itself can be trouble, because I've been known to swing out the end of the aisle kinda wide sometimes, knocking over stuff like ohhh, I don't know...wine displays. Liam was with me the other day when that very thing occurred, and yelled out "Jesus, Mary and Joseph!!", in a strange Irish brogue. I thought I had happened upon an Irish Spring commercial or something, but no. It was just a mortified teenager. We had to set up all the wine bottles that had fallen over, and when I say we, I of course mean Liam. See what I mean..time consuming.
Ummm..I outdid myself with these
          Don't even get me going on cleaning. Holy smoke, no really! We are currently in winter heating mode, which in this old farmhouse means- wood stove, pellet stove, and oil. Smoke, dust, wood pieces, bark and kibble are everywhere. Remember a couple blogs ago where I was cleaning, and painting and reveling in how white and tidy my house was looking after the spring housecleaning marathon? I swear, it's like I haven't done a thing. Dust coats radiators and furniture..hair from mostly refusing to go outside dogs and definitely not going outside cats. Don't get me started on the toddler prints on all my windows. At -20 degrees, no animal or human wants to go outside, and so we all hunker inside, and make messes. I try and stay ahead of it, but yeah..not so much. Spring and housecleaning is coming...I've only got 4 months to try and keep dust bunnies to a minimum, and if you know bunnies, you know how they like to  "reproduce". It is amazing I blog at all honestly.
"We're not messy mom, we promise"
          Not that I don't have other things to distract me from blogging besides cooking and cleaning. Said toddler, my granddaughter Milly, is here daily and she and Granny have stuff they have to do. Like, for example..rubbing on hand cream. Daily. If it weren't for all the aforementioned cooking and cleaning, I would have the softest hands going. We also have to "eat eat" as she calls it, where we make her breakfast. More cooking. She likes to take a bath in Granny's kitchen sink, although at over 2 she is now almost too big to fit. We still fold her up and let her soak, spray water, and splash. She keeps Granny very busy, again limiting my blogging capabilities.
Helping Granny wash dishes..sort of
           Once in a great while, I get off the farm for fun, which is great, but blog hindering as well. Milly, her mom and I went to see good old Santa at the Portland Mall a week before Christmas. We did a bit of shopping before going to the mall. Granny needed new britches and Momma wanted stuff from a couple stores near the mall. We drove down in my mother's van, which has a dvd player to keep SOMEONE amused on the hour long trip. Now, I am not really used to her van, which has a lot more 'bells and whistles' then my old ford. All the doors on the van open with buttons on the key chain which can take some getting used to.
           We got out at the mall, and I opened the door behind the drivers seat to help Brogan get Milly changed and out of the van for our meeting with Santa. I hit the close button, and heard Bro hollering "STOP! STOP THE DOOR!" I turned back, and watched as the automatic door made quick work of a loaf of bread that had the misfortune of falling into the way of the closing door. Half the loaf was on the outside of the car, the other half disappearing out of sight as the door closed up, pinching the  bread in half. I managed to save it by sticking my arm inside the remaining space. Not the BEST way to stop the door, but it worked, and I only had a slight bruise.
           We got the bread in, my arm out, Milly out, and got ready to go into the mall. I clicked the 'lock all doors" button, and we went inside. Naturally, we entered the mall the furthest distance possible from where Santa was located, so after what seemed to be an hours march, we finally came to the Winter Wonderland and the jolly fat man himself.
Telling Santa how much she can't wait to meet him..or not,,
           Santa was set up in an area with several kid friendly displays. Toy trains, coloring stations, a Tv playing 24/7 Christmas shows, a photo booth, and ole Santa himself on a big chair waiting to meet children. To get to all this however, we had to walk across blindingly white, shiny floors. Poor Milly. Apparently, we need to get her out more, well, maybe just out of Granny's less then spotless house, because she was terrified of walking on a floor that shiny. Seriously, would NOT walk on the floor. I admit, it was pretty white and highly polished. Showoffs. Poor little chickie. She had to be carried by Momma or she just froze and whimpered, afraid to step on the floor, which was nothing compared to when she saw Santa.
           Now this kid has been eating, breathing, watching, talking about and dancing with Santa for weeks. She loves him, loves reindeer, snowmen and the whole nine yards. Seeing a REAL SANTA, different story. We managed to get her to high five him, and kind of sit near him, sort of,  for .5 seconds before she burst into tears. Good times. Did manage to get one photo where she was only sort of teary, and decided to go.
"Stay away Santa.."
            "BYE SANTA!", Milly yelled happily, as she left the Winter Wonderland, carried by her mother because the floors were just WAY too clean. Next year, I bet she will love him. This year, he was great...from afar. I decided to wait for Brogan at a closer exit, while she and Milly hoofed it back the way we came in to grab the car.
            I didn't have too long to wait until they pulled up, Bro laughing and laughing in the driver's seat.
            "What?" I asked, as I slide into the seat beside her. Apparently, when she walked out of the mall to get the car, she headed toward the van, and thought "who's car is that? Where is our van?"
She was confused because, the van she was looking at had the tailgate up, like someone was loading or unloading the trunk.
              "OH MY GOD!" she yelled, sprinting across parking lot, Milly bouncing in her arms, when she realized, YES it was our van, and YES I had hit the "open tailgate" button, instead of the "lock all doors" button. She ran to the back of the van, hardly daring to look and see if anything at all was left inside. Luckily, EVERYTHING was there, all the bags, my jeans, squished bread loaf, everything. I said I bet any criminal was like.."yeah, that's a bait car, I'm not touching that stuff." Apparently, Milly isn't the only one that needs to get out more. Perhaps I better take my own wheels though. Yep, pretty sure I should.
               Christmas and all it's preparations was a very busy time, and also a "can't even think about blogging" time of year. I think Ree managed it. I don't know how. She also gives away lots of cool stuff on her blog. I think I need to start doing that. I think maybe it would help me blog more often, if I had a lot more blog readers. I think my first offering will be..ohhhh, I don't know...how about a pinched in half loaf of bread? That kind of thing is bound to get me more blog readers, THUS making me want to blog more. Or not.
Squeeky Snowman

               I know..A NEW YEARS RESOLUTION! That will do it. Okay, I hereby resolve to write in my blog AT LEAST TWICE A YEAR. No, wait..that was last years resolution. I hereby resolve to write in my blog MONTHLY for 2018! Whoa...that's big. Wish me luck Russia!! I'm gonna need it! Now, to go scrub my floors a blinding white..........................................

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Real Housewives of Bridgton Maine

Granny Nightgowns..NOT just for sleeping.

The Blessing