And the Mother of the Year Award goes to......

     In case you don't already know, I have three children. Brogan, my daughter is 25, Cameron my oldest son is 19 and Liam is 11.  They are all great kids-well adjusted, smart and independent...despite their mother. I of course contributed heartily to their DNA, and made sure to cover important childhood events, like birthday parties, a happy Christmas, and a good number of sleepovers for each of them. They haven't been expelled, robbed a bank, or gotten in any trouble with drinking or drugs. So, when they start recounting some childhood "incidents", I just smile, because I don't care what they say..I did good.
     Brogan had a crazy scare when she was in high school. She was driving home from a town about 20 minutes from home, when she was pulled over by a cop. Trouble was, he wasn't a real cop. She had the good common sense to feel something wasn't right with the guy, so she didn't open her window when he walked up to her car. He asked for her license, and she held it wisely against the glass of the window, instead of rolling the window down. He then tried to force the window down with his hands, and she quickly stepped on the gas, and drove right to the police station to report the incident. Apparently, she tried to call me from there, but, well, I was asleep. After filling out the report, she drove home and quickly came to tell her mother, looking for comfort? Support?
     "Mom! Didn't you hear the phone ring?" she asked, as she came in. It was way past my bedtime, and once I'm in bed, I don't 'rise and shine' very easily.
      "No, I don't know, maybe..I figured they would leave a message," I said. "Why? Why are you getting home so late?" I asked, as I looked at the clock, and saw it was past her curfew.
      "I was almost kidnapped!" she exclaimed. I believe this is when the epic fail occurred. I said the words that have come back to haunt me several times over the years.
      "There's always something with you Bro. Well, get some sleep, you will feel better in the morning." I said.  Snore. Yeah...ask me how many times I've heard about my apparent lack of concern over the years. It wasn't that I wasn't concerned, it's just that I'm not one given to hysterics. Obviously, she was home, safe, and all was well.
       I didn't get too worked up until the next day when the detective came by to ask for more details. Then it was a bit more scary, not worth panicking over, mind you, but it was scary. They did find the guy after he attempted the same trick on a girl in another nearby town. The fact that Brogan was aware and alert enough to not be fooled showed good common sense. Yes, I taught her that.
      I also taught her one of my Uncle Billy's favorite sayings.."Its a long way from your heart." When she had her hand stepped on by one of our horses, she thought she should go to the doctor and have it looked it. I believe my kind words were.." It isn't THAT swollen..put some ice on it." She did, but finally persuaded me she needed to go.
      I was pretty busy, so  I wrote her a permission slip to see the doctor and well...she drove herself to the emergency room. Came home with the diagnosis that she had cracked a bone in her hand. My bad. Poor Bro.
       So, after seeing how his older sister was treated, it was no surprise for poor Cameron that when he had a stomach ache, I said we had to finish supper before we went to the hospital. Now, in my defense, this child had no serious symptoms, except a worsening stomach ache. No fever, no vomiting, nothing.
       Diagnosis? A bad appendix. Really bad, like, we are taking him to surgery now bad. So, off he went, while the family gathered in the waiting room, doing what we do best in an emergency situation..laughing and joking. People think we are nuts, but that's how we handle the stress. Cameron emerged feeling better and is fine today. And for some reason, doesn't hold it against me. ( I HAD cooked a huge supper that night, after all.........)
      He was sadly used to having the "Underachiever Mom". In elementary school, he proudly carried home his "beautiful" ceramic creations, only to have me drop them while opening up the newspaper wrapping. I believe I managed to keep one in tact until later Christmas day, but they were all still in the trash by sundown. Poor Cam.
      One Winter morning, I tried to have a real "Waltons" moment, and made a big french toast breakfast. I always feed the heels to the chickens, but on this morning, I thought maybe the crows would like them. Cameron was out in a small building we have in our backyard, where I had him stash his video games, when I was tired of tripping over the cords in the living room.
      I opened the back door and hollered " Cameron!!  Cameron!" I threw the bread heels across the snowbank as he opened the door up.
     "Breakfast!" I hollered. He saw the heels sliding across the snowbank, and hollered back to me.." IS THAT IT???"
      I hollered back. " No Cam! This is a special occasion. You can come inside and eat today!"
      Liam faired no better. He is such a joy to be around today,smart, handsome and such a nice young man. However, as a toddler, he was a handful. Capital H. There wasn't much he didn't do. Peeled wallpaper off his new bedroom walls, and in my hallway. Dug a hole in the sheet rock in the living room. Cut the cat with a pair of scissors. Ran away from home and had to be brought home by a nice lady. Ran away from me whenever he could. Did not listen to a word anyone said. He was very exasperating, which explains one of his favorite MOM stories.
      Cameron was walking down through the field from Grams house, when he heard a commotion coming from the barn. Suddenly, Liam came running out of the barn door, full tilt, followed closely by, no not me, but a shoe. I followed closely behind the shoe, and around the house we went..Liam won. I never caught the little bugger. Hard running in one shoe. Cameron went back to grams. Poor Liam.
      There are a lot of other "Mother of the Year Award" winning moments out there..My kids love to recount them. Often. I say I accomplished my mission. Brogan is a well organized ,go getter that isn't afraid to delve into some less then savory animal welfare issues. Cameron is in his freshman year at Southern Maine Community College, and Liam is the Geography Bee Champion at his school for the second year in a row, and, is still, a wicked fast runner.

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