Homeland Farm

Homeland Farm

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Middle of the Night Musings by a Menopausal Mainer

   Ahh, menopause..you are such a hag. My sleeping habits have not been my own since I turned 50. I used to fall into bed and sleep like the proverbial log all night, back in the day. Now, I am hot flashing, and tossing and turning all night, every night.
    It is the same thing about every evening..I go to bed chilly, with cold feet as the floors in this old farmhouse are always cold. I slide into bed, and sigh a happy sigh as the electric blanket has done its job...ahhh nice and warm, says I..at that moment. The Doober dog (Annalee) will usually come in and join me on the bed, and I shove my cold feet under her butt, as that is the quickest way to warm them up. I fall into blissful slumber, and soon hear Cliffy come in to join us. We push and shove the dog pile around to make room for him, although I often feel like the innkeeper in Bethlehem, telling him there is no room at the inn.
Umm..my toes are lower, dog..
      We have one dog, Annalee or Doober as we for some reason call her. Yet, there are often 4 dogs in the bedroom, all vying for a spot on the bed. Brogan has three dogs, two of which have now for some unknown reason decided they like to sleep at "Granny and Grampy's" house better then their own place. The third will just stay when she goes out for the evening, otherwise he stays faithful to his owner..not like the other canine Benedict Arnolds.
..And this is just two dogs..
        So, once we have made room for poor Cliffy, we all fall off to sleep. This will last anywhere from 3-4 hours, and then it starts. I go from, "Annalee, let me shove my toes under you for warmth" to " Get off me dog, I'm sweating my BUTT OFF!" Off goes the blankets and up goes the window. The bitterly cold air blasts in over me, instantly cooling me down and freezing Cliffy to a popsicle.
         And so it continues...electric blanket, off...window up. Holy cow, is it cold..window down, electric blanket cranking.
"Don't touch me anyone, I'm cooking!" Blanket thrown over poor frozen Cliffy, who's only part visible above the blankets is the crown on his head.
         And so it goes on...all night. By 3 am, I am usually wide awake and that's when the weird random thoughts start. Odd stuff, nothing earth shattering. Here is a top 10 list of the most common 3 am musings...


   10.  Hmm..is that the furnace? I wonder how much oil we have..will have to check that in morning. (never do..)
     9.  Wish I had something chocolate..(thought all day every day)
    8.   Which dog farted/is snoring/or hogging the blankets?
    7.    Oops...it wasn't the dog....
    6.    I need to go grocery shopping..we have nothing good..
    5.    What is that sound? Are the horses loose? (Yes, they most likely are..)
    4.     I wonder if this is good blog material...(No, it most likely isn't..)
    3.    (Singing...) "It's beginning to look a lot like CHRISTMASSSSSS"
    2.     Chinese would be good...(Hey, it has been a long time since supper...)
      And the number one most random middle of the night musing.."Hark...is that the sound of a cat throwing up?" (Yes, it was.)
       So, another night, another sleepless few hours. I particularly hate waking at 3am..It is really too early to stay up and make coffee. 4 am -I could do it, but 3 is just too early. Ok, now I am cold again, so will head back to the bed to warm up, and that will make me sleepy.
        "MOVE OVER DOGS! MAMA'S COMING BACK AND BRINGING HER COLD TOES WITH HER!"
Cliffy and the latest "Molly Magoo"

But then..spicy chicken wings..ummmm
         GOODNIGHT WORLD!

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